Chick fighting, fat guys and half-shavin' chests, oh my!

There was a fight on this past Saturday; Elite XC, whatever that is. My cousin and I went shopping so that we didn't have to watch the fights. Did I know that the fight didn't start until 9pm? Didn't think so; otherwise I would not have come home before 9pm. We did try to stretch our time by going to The Coffee Bean for some Chai Tea Latte's-big mistake, HUGE. The Coffee Bean makes the best Chai Tea Latte's; much better than Starbucks. Or should I say they did make the best. It was horrible; tasted like watered down tea. And aren't they suppose to take the tea leaves out of the tea before it goes in my mouth?! Horrible. Which totally ticks me off because I have such a cold and cough right now that a good Chai Tea Latte would be wonderful.

So getting back to the fight. I sit down and the first fight I see is CHICK FIGHTING! What the ... If I'm going to watch fights...chicks, really? I think they must do it because everyone else in the sport are guys. Why else would you purposefully get kicked in the face? I'm OK with the JiuJitsu part and the wrestling but I don't think I could ever get over getting hit. I bruise easily. The one girl got beaten up; to a pulp. There ain't no makeup going to cover that up girlfriend. I could just see it now; I'm a fighter and I just got beaten to a pulp and now, I get to go pick up my kids at school. What do you tell all the other moms? And my kids' teachers? I fight in my spare time. Then what happens when my kid gets in trouble for fighting at school? "Well, my mom does it." I don't think that would fly. At least not where I live.

Then a fight comes on. It's an image that will never get out of my head. I think his name was Nelson. Anyways, I thought these were athletes. I don't know how you can work out so much and be a professional fighter and have such a gut? How many pounds do you eat a day Nelson? Seriously, what's up? He didn't win. I wonder why? Maybe his belly got in the way.

Then the final fight comes. I've seen the one guy before; Kimbo Slice. He only shaves half his chest. That's right, you heard me, half his chest. So he's walking around with this huge beard, bald head and a half shaven chest. Are you joking me? I thought we were watching MMA not WWF. This isn't a costume party. Then he gets knocked to the ground by some "walk-in" because his opponent had to get stitches during a pre-fight workout. It was right at the beginning. I thought this guy was suppose to be good? It's a crazy world, MMA. I don't know who's good and who's not. Which is why I'm doing this blog; to maybe help other wives or girlfriends know what the heck their guy is talking about.

The first WarMMA Wives Club is now in session!

So it's just about time to call it a night. You put the kids to bed, pick up toys, wash the dishes and you think, "mmm...maybe I feel a bit frisky tonight". You go out to the living room thinking, my husband won't say no to ALL THIS...then you see it... He's watching it... No, it's not porn, it's not The Girls Next Door, it's not even COPS...It's MMA FIGHTING!!!! Now, I guess I'll just go to bed because there is nothing in this world, even a naked wife, that would keep him from his MMA. I could be laying in bed naked as a jaybird and he's never going to come to bed, or at least not until I fall asleep. One night I went to bed, fell asleep, woke up hours later to use the ladies room (come on, I'm a mom - I can't go a full night without getting up), it's 2am and he's still up watching fights. How many fights can he watch? How many fights are there? Oh, now I get it...That's why we got a DVR. Now he can watch fights all frickin' night long. He says he's "working" late which is code for "I missed a fight and I have to catch up". Once I told my husband that on the days he watches any kind of fighting, there will be no "fun" after the kids are in bed. I don't know if I have actually kept that deal because I have lost track of the fight watching.

So, my purpose of this blog is to help other "MMA Widows" help keep things in check. Maybe learn a few terms that make your husband think you actually care about this stuff. I tried watching once: some guy got his lip cut open, straight through, cut wide open. As a mom, I can handle myself with the blood thing while I'm makin' sure my kids are ok; but it's a whole different story when some dude's lip is split in half and he's spewing blood all over his opponent and the floor. That's just nasty. All I kept thinking was, "Someone's going to have to wash that floor and try to get the blood out of that guys shorts." Luckily it wasn't me!

Until next time....